Monday, 1 March 2010

Memory Monday!

I have decided that for the time being on a Monday I will share memories past, some good, others not so!

Well as it is around the time I found out I was pregnant with my first child I thought I would share that story!

I had longed for a baby for a number of years, I knew really that it was all l I ever wanted out of life to be a wife and a mother and in that order. Our wedding was arranged for 30 September 1995 and I secretly hoped that we would be able to start trying for a family straight away. Mark had other ideas, he didn't feel it was the right time as money was tight and I had also agreed to be a bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding the following August and he felt it was unfair of me to let her down. It was doubly hard for me because a couple of weeks before we got married Mark's younger brother announced that his girlfriend was pregnant with a baby, due the following May.

Well May came along and we were blessed with a lovely baby Nephew and then August a few months later and I was a bridesmaid, but still no mention of starting my longed for family. I felt so desperate but each time I mentioned it Mark felt it was still not the right time.

At this point I was working at a doctors' surgery and had made a very good friend. She had been trying for a baby for almost two years with no luck and had had to undergo some minor surgery to see if it would be helpful. It was the day after Boxing Day and my friend had to work, I remember it was lunchtime and the phone rang. My friend had said that she felt funny, wondered if she could be pregnant and decided that she was going to do a pregnancy test in the toilets at work. She said she would ring me back! The test was positive, she was absolutely over the moon and even though I could not have been happier for her, it made me feel that my becoming pregnant was nowhere in sight.

I carried on as normal but inside I was becoming more and more desperate about the whole situation. We had a holiday booked in the January with my mum and it was lovely to get away, but on our return I still felt the same way. In the end I told Mark just how strongly I felt about starting a family and I also told him that what had happened to my friend could happen to us and it might take us years to conceive a child and amazingly he agreed it was time.

Well it was the first month of trying and it was two days before I should have taken the pregnancy test but I could not wait any longer. I woke up at 3am, tiptoed out of bed to the toilet (thinking Mark was asleep), locked the door, did the test and turned it upside down on the bathroom cabinet. The next thing I knew was Mark shouting, asking what I was doing. I tried to sound casual and answered nothing but he knew something was going on. I turned the test over and could not believe it, after only one month of trying, there was a line, albeit a faint one. I was ecstatic and very shocked. I opened the door and Mark was stood there and I managed to whisper "I think I am pregnant"! I don't think either of us could believe it and I remember putting the test on my bedside table and looking at it all night long to make sure the line was still there.

I did another test two days later (in the supermarket toilets) and there could be no mistaking that result with it's dark blue line!
My due date was 29 November 1997, but Ellie decided to make us wait for a few days and came into the world on 7 December 1997 weighing 6lbs 3ozs and we have never looked back!

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